A True Champion for Disabled Americans...

After posting the "Charlatan" post yesterday, I remembered someone that I would consider a REAL champion for those individuals who are disabled. This is not some random new headline I picked up by browsing the internet for hours, or some deliberate attempt to make a point on my part. The reason I know about this story is:

1. I emphatically watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
2. I used to go out to lunch at a small Indian restaurant on Manchester (Hwy 100) where this man's life work take place.
3. I believe in this man's cause enough to be a patron of his establishment.

The man's name is Sam Malek. Mr. Malek was born in 1963 in Cairo, Egypt with cerebral palsy. He emigrated to the United states with his father at the age of 5, and moved directly to the St. Louis area under a sponsorship from the Shriner's Hospital for Children, arranged by Sam's uncle. He has lived in the St Louis area for over 40 years, and in this amount of time, he has truly made the best of his disability in every way.

I came to know of this man in a very strange twist of fate when I went to lunch with some co-workers. We took our time eating and noticed this very small drive-thru coffee shop in the parking lot. It didn't take up alot of real estate, but it was noticeable enough. Also, of notice was the cross in the shop's sign, which showed the shop was called "More Than Coffee" (The "T" was fashioned into a cross). My co-workers, and myself (though I am ashamed to say this) made some rather sarcastic comments about what else would be served other than coffee. Unknown to us, the purpose behind this, we assumed a Bible verse on the lid... or a Psalm on the coffee sleeve.

As a Christian (a label that recently has come to be frowned upon in modern society for some unknown reason), I am truly ashamed that I made these comments, but I am also honest enough to own up to my faults. The very next week, I watched an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in which a kind-hearted family in the St. Louis area's home was rebuilt to meet their needs. I love these stories, as it is nice to see unselfish people get rewarded. Along with the home, the very same coffee shop was being remodeled. I didn't know this at first, because the episode had already been filmed prior to me seeing this shop at the first time, so I was amazed at what this man accomplished (I'll cover this in a minute.. but first...) and happy he was getting this meaningful change to his lifestyle. And then the famous reveal... the Move that Bus! moment that everyone who has watched this show has witnessed.... Low and behold.. it was the coffee shop. The very one I had mocked. God was showing me how I had been ignorant... and I guess my friends felt the same way... because the next day we went and got coffee. I met this man.. this true hero....

Mr. Malek owns this coffee shop, and he uses it as a place to assist disabled workers to learn how to move on to better jobs and improve their lives. He helps these people despite his own disability. Does he ask for anything in return?  Here's some quotes from him specifically:

Without the customer, I can’t do what I do. That’s what it’s all about—helping people.

When you deal with people who have a disability, it’s all about adapting. The whole concept is to make it as independent as humanly possible. To give them a sense of self-esteem, self-worth.

I get customers all the time with little kids who see my crutches and ask, “Why do you have those?” The parents are like, “Shush shush!” And I’m like, “Don’t do that!” I answer them very simply: “My legs don’t work as well as yours. I need a little help.”



Children have to accept people for their differences. And if you teach them, you can impact them because they’re young. The parents, I can’t change their mind-set. We can make them think, but they’ve gotta make the choices to change.

I’ve had people order seven snow cones. And the kids are like, “How are you gonna make them?” And I’m like, “OK, open the door, come on in here and watch me make the snow cones.”


You will never outdo the good Lord’s generosity. That’s the way I function, and that’s what it’s all about.

This man is someone who I admire. Someone who does not complain about the life that has been given to him. He does not talk about how hard it is on him... he helps people... he embodies what I believe a TRUE Christian should be...

If others were a little more like this man... and a little less like most... the entire world would be a much better place. Please visit his coffe shop, or his website whenever you get the chance.

Also remember... this is what it means to be a champion of the disabled... not complaining about how difficult it is... not berating people for the words they choose... when life gives you lemons... sell them to others and use the money to buy the entire community some lemonade...

More Than Coffee

Charlatan

I sometimes refer to my girlfriend as a charlatan (though this is meant as a cute nickname.. as her name is Karly, and it sounds similar... it's a manner of teasing.. which is reciprocated regularly, believe me!!) It's a fun little thing we do around the house, and a way to liven up our day. This however got me thinking about the true meaning of the word....

According to Dictionary.com

char-la-tan [shahr-luh-tn] -noun

a person who pretends to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses; quack

Looking at this definition, makes me wonder why I would say these things about my girlfriend. I know this is a "pet name" (I suppose....), but Karly is nowhere close to a charlatan in reality. She is a loving, caring individual who puts others first in every aspect of her life (sometimes too much!!).

That being said, I wanted to discuss what I find to be a true charlatan. If you look up the synonyms for this word, you'll find things like cheat, con artist, fake, and swindler.

As I stated in my "introduction" post, the main reason for this blog is my disdain for all of the lies being spread about me and my situation to the internet world. Even if no one reads this, I will undoubtedly feel better, knowing that I was able to at least post the truth (or at least my side of things) here. In this post, I want to clearly define why I feel the way I do about this word.

Recently, I have struck up a conversation with someone I truly believed to be an "enemy" on many fronts. My daughter's mother was married shortly after our brief and horrific life together, to a man whom I barely knew. No issue there, as I felt she was his problem, and not mine. But having a child, I knew that I would have some contact with this guy sometimes. Truth be told, he was always a good father figure to my daughter. A better parent in reality than her own mother, which I would come to learn later.

After many arguments with her while I was stationed in Iraq, I tried to reconcile the relationship with my daughter's mom, in hopes to re-establish a loving family for my kid. The husband was out of the picture at this point (several years had past). We tried, and albeit eventually failed, but during this time, several stories about the ex-husband came out of her mouth. Many of these involved child abuse, molestation, gambling problems, financial instability, and several other things which made me instantly despise the man.

I thought to myself, "How could this woman make up so many horrible stories about this guy? they must be true!" But alas, my relationship ended (another VERY quick mistake in my life I may add) and I came to find out exactly how she could. Sure enough, on her own blog... posted out there for the whole world to read... I was a deadbeat dad.. an abuser... a cheat.. a liar... whatever else could be said about me...

After some time of this, and once my own life had moved past the hurt and sorrow that I had felt from my own failed relationships and heartbreak (I was married at one point and she had someone else's child while I was serving my country), I decided to find this guy and hear his side of it. This was a real healing experience, as I found someone else who was lied to and about...

We compared stories, and needless to say.. we've both realized how crazy she is.... He is truly disabled, in the sort of way that is clearly labeled by the US government. He is unable to perform certain tasks that some of us more "able-bodied" people can perform. I do not think this is something to belittle, or lie about... simply stating the facts. I am angry... and here is why...

This woman... this charlatan... is now declaring herself disabled... (which I may agree with, except it is out of convenience...) Here are some of her most recent claims/shams/ flat-out lies:

1. She is too disabled to cash a check when I ask her to, but not too disabled to travel halfway around the world to visit family... convenient...

2. She recently started a feminist blog for disabled women. She is attempting to be a champion for the disabled women of America whilst mocking their very existence with her lies. To me, this is downright madness and should be brought to light...

3. She claims to be disabled, yet has not, to my knowledge, filed for any sort of government assistance for her "condition". Hmmm... kind of odd.. but ok... maybe she's just proud...

4. She recently got a new cane and likens herself to "House"... defending his addiction to pain medication as a very unfortunate example of the way that society views pain management.... it's a FREAKING SHOW.. not a social commentary....

5. She claims to be open-minded and progressive, yet whenever a comment is left on her blogs that challenges her opinion, she will delete it and publicly humiliate those that left it... stating her "public" blog is no longer a "safe place". What's the matter, she can lie about people, but if they call her to the carpet, she can't let people read that?

Anyway, that's enough of my ranting... I just felt it was an important thing to air some of this for all of us who have been lied about, or humiliated by these phonies...

these internet swindlers...

these modern-day charlatans....

Have any of you out there experienced being lied about, or stories made up that were so far off-base that you felt the need to just scream?

My Introduction

Hello World,

This is my first attempt at blogging so please bear with me. I decided to start this blog so that I can free some of my feelings and thoughts, and basically clear them off of my chest.

First, allow me to introduce myself. I am a 30 year old father of two (though I only really see one of my kids, which I am sure will become a very clear story over time and a major subject of my blog). I have a wonderful girlfriend who accepts me for all of my flaws, which is hard to say nowadays.

Second, I vow that this will be a honest and open place to air your opinions (if there are any :) ) My daughter's mother (the main reason for me starting this blog) likes to remove comments that paint her in an unfair light, so I wanted to allow the truth to come out. Even if only I read this, at least I will be able to remove the disgust and grime from my life in some way.

Third, I am not the nicest person in the world. I may offend you, I may upset you, but I will ALWAYS respect your RIGHT to have an opinion. I served in the United States Marine Corps for four years, and truly feel that part of my decision to serve was to ensure that every citizen of this country is allowed the right to have an opinion.

Next, I will brag about my kid... I just will. I hope you guys do too!! Kids are the only truly innocent people in this world, and should be considered a joy in everyone's life. (Unless you don't like kids, then hey... sorry.. but it's how I feel :) )

Welcome to my area of thought. Please feel free to judge me however you choose, but make sure you can take what you dish out :)